Healing from Narcissistic Abuse - Narcissistic Abuse Healing

Discarding is the final stage of the trifecta in narcissistic abuse – love bomb, devalue, discard - although it’s by no means always the end of the line. Their reign of destruction continues with hoovering, flying monkeys and smear campaigns to carry on wreaking havoc in your life, and that’s literally what happens – if you let it. Narcissists discard people like toxic waste and it can be absolutely devastating.

To want to get revenge, get your own back is human nature. When we’ve been wronged and hurt, it’s our moral right to want to defend ourselves. We think that they deserve a piece of our mind, and in most normal relationships, when we’ve been cheated on or betrayed and we confront the person who’s done that to us, they are usually sorry, ashamed or whatever.

One of the first questions a victim of Narcissistic Abuse is often asked after they reveal the depths of despair they were in during their relationship with a Narcissist, is ‘Why didn’t you leave sooner’, or worse, ‘Why the hell did you go BACK?’ Victims of Narcissistic abuse frequently leave the relationship because it was unbearable to be...

Narcissistic Abuse is impossibly hard on anyone, but it’s doubly so for a man caught in the trap. Why? There are several reasons. One is, because typically women garner sympathy more easily than men. Typically women were thought of as the ‘weaker sex’, right or wrong. But the truth is... women can be a lot more...

No contact means just that. You sever all ties with the narc. Delete / block their phone / email. Block them on FB and social media. In case they have sent you threatening or ugly emails, texts or smeared you on social media, make a copy of everything and file it somewhere safe. You may need it for legal purposes.

Love-Bombing, also known as 'Idealization' is the first stage a Narcissist uses to engage, snare and capture you. The narcissist will hone in on his (or her) target like bees round a honeypot. He (or she) will have researched you (via social media, friends, or colleagues), to find out as much as possible about you. This means that when they contacts you, they knows what to say to get your interest. You’ll feel an immediate rapport with him or her.

I’m going to share a bunch of phrases with you that will help you know if you are (or were) being gaslighted, and what you can do to put a stop to it – not the gaslighting itself, because you can’t stop Narcs from doing what they do, but if you’re still in the relationship with this person and you can't get out - or even if you have gotten out, but you still keep going back over stuff and ruminating about it and asking yourself constantly if you were crazy, or too sensitive or jealous or whatever – you need to know the truth, and what you can do to stop buying into the narc’s gaslighting BS.

You might have been with a narcissist for a couple of months, or multiple years. But the fact is, it doesn't matter how long you've been in a relationship with a narcissist - the damage they do is undeniable. They make your life a complete and utter misery. The narcissist could be your partner, your parent, or even a co-worker or boss. It doesn't matter who they are - they all have the ability to emotionally destroy you.

Many of the people I’ve talked to about Narcissistic abuse start by telling me that they feel it’s their fault, or that they’ve done something to deserve the abuse. I tell them quite frankly, this is nonsense. Nobody deserves this kind of abuse. And they didn’t deserve it. And neither do you. But you can, and must, find the path to healing. Your sanity, and your psychological wellbeing, depends on it.

A study revealed 31% of Americans find the holiday season ‘frantic’, and I’m sure results in the UK and other countries would come up with similar percentages. Big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, which both come soon, and close together, can be even more difficult to cope with if you’ve been recently Discarded by your ex Narcissist.

Forgiveness and trust after Narcissistic Abuse, in spite of what you might be feeling right now, is possible. However, I must point out here that there are 2 stages of forgiving – one for yourself and one for the narc… but that comes a long way down the road of recovery – and for some, they will never be able to fully forgive.

The subject of spirituality and religion seems to be popping up a lot lately – not just in my group, but a lot of other places in my network, so I thought it would be a good topic to have a chat with you about today.

Understanding the term Grey Rock, and what it means, is particularly useful if you’re in a Narcissistic Relationship and you simply can’t get out – typically the reasons you can’t have to do with finance or children, or when you’re planning your escape strategy but you know it’s going to take time or you’re at the sage where you’re thinking of finding that way out,

It is! The more I read and learn about narcissistic abuse, and more importantly, surviving it, healing from it, then thriving, the more I realise something I have known all along... that self-love is the absolute key to healing.

So you’ve gone no contact, identified yourself as a victim and dealt with what that entailed, but you’re still not out of the woods, home free and happy. What is probably going on now is that you are ruminating on the past. This means that you're going over everything that your Ex did and said, and you keep asking yourself whether you could have handled things differently, whether it was all your fault, whether you're going crazy.

So you've made the break, and gone No Contact. You're determined the relationship is over, yet you live in dread of bumping into your ex when you're out and about. So what the heck can you do to prepare yourself and not fall to pieces if you do run into them? It doesn't have to send you into a complete tailspin. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

The answer is simple, but it’s far from easy to cut the ties with a Narcissistic Mother - and symbolically 'divorce' her. Very often if you do, you’ll get untold flak from other family members who’ll accuse you of being ‘selfish’ and ‘cruel’ and ‘heartless’… especially if you were the scapegoat in the family growing up. Then you are painted even blacker than ever!

think all who suffer narcissistic abuse go through various stages, similar to those going through grief, and then some. But the 5 stages of grief for example, are not enough because they end with acceptance, which is what happens when you lose someone to death and you finally come to terms with it. However, it's just not that simple when NPD is involved because abuse brings a different kind of grief.

Before I start, I will say that if you are suffering any kind of physical symptoms, or think you might be suffering with any of the things mentioned in this post, always be sure to see your Doctor. I’m not a medical practitioner and I’m not qualified to give any kind of medical advice. I am however, a certified Clinical NLP / Hypnotherapist with experience helping people recover from trauma and abuse.